Have you ever wondered how you were going to get through the day, resolve a conflict, pay the bills, get a job, or simply break through the fear that holds you back? Sometimes, life becomes such a struggle that it appears the easier path is to quit rather than push through and conquer the fear of “IT” whatever “IT” is! Although quitting is an option, the consequences of not moving through the fear rob us of the learning experience so valuable to out soul’s growth. Perhaps it is time to change our perception of fear and view it as a positive force, a motivating energy that encourages us to be more than we thought we could be.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do”.

What are you dealing with today that brings up your fear? Perhaps the fear of being alone if you move away from a relationship; the fear of making a mistake if you move into a relationship; the fear of loss of security if you change careers; the fear of retaliation if you tell the truth.

Use these 5 steps to overcome any fear that is holding you back from the life you want to live.

1. Make a DECISION to face the fear and do it anyway, this thing you think you cannot do.
2. Write down all that you think will happen if you do this thing that you fear. Write out the worst case scenario and read it carefully.
3. Write out a description of the way you think life will be if you DON’T face this fear. Are you willing to live with this alternative?
4. Now take a clean sheet of paper and title it “STEPPING OUTSIDE OF THE BOX”. Remember, life is not black or white; rather it is many shades of grey. Look for other options for the same goal and write them down. List the pro’s and con’s of each option as well as a preliminary game plan.
5. Create a first step. Baby steps are easiest to accomplish. Take one step at a time and then create another next step. This way you won’t become too overwhelmed with too difficult a step. Evaluate all that you’ve written and see if there is a light at the end of the previously dark tunnel.

Facing our fears and moving forward does indeed build courage, high self-esteem, an inner strength and trust so that the next fear we encounter will be much easier to move through. As long as we are growing, we are stepping outside of our comfort zones, plunging into the unknown, which does bring up some level of anxiety. However, we know we are vitally alive when the dynamics of our lifestyle create periods of positive stress, that high level activity of creative expression. Working through our fears opens life to creativity, joy and peace that we all deserve and want.

Happy Growing!

www.caroleoconnell.com

As we near Valentine’s Day, our thoughts go to the significant relationship in our life. Is it fulfilling, harmonious, loving and communicative? Do you enjoy each other? Do you laugh together? Most of us would probably say that our relationship could be better.

Rather than wanting your partner to change so things would be better, perhaps it is time to see how you could show up differently and make the difference that you are seeking.

Here are 3 ideas that may help you to see what you could bring to the marriage that would create a more loving, beautiful relationship.

#1  GIVE UP THE BLAME GAME

a)     Blaming, criticizing or judging your mate will guarantee an unhappy marriage.

b)    Most judgment of another is actually a reflection of something we are not happy about our self. When we realize that and are willing to own it, we are free to create our relationships differently.

c)     So…..the relationship that is most important to work on, the one that transforms all others is the relationship we have with ourselves.

d)    I have discovered that when I accept myself just as I am, then and only then can I accept others unconditionally.

e)     All of the relationships that we use as our excuse for feeling bad are simply manifestations of our disconnect from our self, our higher self, our higher power, our inner being.

f)      Exercise: Make a list of all of your positive aspects. Be real! Dig deep if you have too! Perhaps you haven’t looked at what is good about you in many years. Now is the time!! Read your list every day for 21 days. Look into your eyes in a mirror and declare, “I AM A LOVING, KIND, WONDERFUL PERSON”!

#2 LET GO OF THE PAST

a)     Your history is not your destiny!

b)    Everyone has a story about their relationship that has been written over a period of years. Sometimes negativity that lives in that story can take on a detrimental life of its own.

c)     Write a new story on how you want to feel in your relationship. Think outside of the way it has been. For instance, you want to feel loved and accepted; you want kindness and respect. You get the idea. Be passionate in your story. Let it all out. What would feel so good????

d)    Exercise: Find things to praise and appreciate about your spouse, both mentally and verbally. Show that you respect them and that they make a difference in your life. Do this for 21 days.

e)     My guarantee is that if you don’t see a shift in your relationship after 21 days, you can have your old story back.

#3. LIVE IN GRATITUDE AND APPRECIATION

a)     There are more good things about your life and your relationship then there are bad. We focus on what’s wrong until what’s wrong becomes dominant in your marriage.

b)    The idea here is to focus on what’s right until what’s right becomes the dominant thought.

c)     Wayne Dyer: “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change.”!

d)    You may have to prove this to yourself to believe how powerfully your thoughts affect your life and consequently all of your relationships.

e)     Exercise:

1)    Write 5 things you truly appreciate about your life.

2)    Write 5 things you truly appreciate about your partner.

3)    Read these every day for 21 days remembering the good times in your life and in your marriage.

You are the architect of your life. You choose the thoughts that control your feelings and emotions that drive your life. There are no victims. You are at choice every day to think about yourself, your spouse and your life as you would like them to be. Don’t focus on what is, focus on what is possible.

Let me know how these exercises work for you.

When life seems too busy, when others upset us, when our dreams don’t come true, smile, take a deep breath and give thanks for the fullness of life.

The secret to a more peaceful life is to resist nothing!!

There is more than enough time to do what is before us. Slow down, turn within and declare perfect organization.

No one can upset us, we choose to be upset. CHOOSE PEACE!!

Dreams are unlimited. When one door closes, another always opens if we listen carefully to our heart.

Life is a MIRACLE being revealed through us. Every day is a gift to be cherished. Loved ones and friends are angels that teach us how to love.

APPRECIATE this moment and watch how the MIRACLES of life open for you.

Affirmation for the week:

I LOVE MY LIFE. I CHOOSE PEACE AND JOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY.

Our greatest joys and our deepest sorrows come from our relationships be it mate, parent, child, friend or boss. Our desire is to have harmony and joy in all of our relationships.

Here are a few ideas to support that desire.:

1. Accept Yourself Unconditionally:

a) Until you accept yourself just the way you are, it is not possible to accept others. We project our judgments of self onto those closest to us.

b) Make a list of the aspects of yourself that you appreciate and read it every day until you feel good about you. When you believe in yourself, you will find it easy to accept others.

2. Practice being the person you want to be with in relationship.

a) We can only attract to us what we are!!!

b) List the attributes you want in a mate and then put YES or NO next to each trait to show which ones you own. This exercise will let you know what you need to work on to be the person that you want to be in relationship with.

c) Find your joy and then attract a mate.

3. Live is Gratitude and Appreciation

a) Establish a habit of focusing on what is working in your life and keep your focus off  any problems. In doing this you are raising your mind energy to a higher vibration where solutions to the problems can come forth.

b) Wayne Dyer: “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change.” This really does work amazingly well. Life is perception and as soon as we change our perception, the way we see life, life  changes.

c) Write five things you appreciate about your life. There is more good than bad in your life. Take your attention off the bad and put it on the good and watch how your life improves. New ideas and solutions come forth. If you don’t believe this, TRY IT for a month and see what happens.

Stay tuned for more tips on relationships.

Write me some of your ideas on how to have loving relationships.

You want to see the person you are judging from a higher, more positive focus. Use your judgment as a contrast to what you desire.For instance, if someone is mistreating you, visualize how you would like this person to treat you. Begin to see this person as a powerful spiritual being that is expressing at the level of their awareness.

The experiences that we attract come to us by right of consciousness. There are no accidents or mistakes. We are always in our right and perfect place. learning exactly what we need to learn. The beauty of this knowing is the realization that by shifting our focus away from any challenging experience and focusing on the enormous amount of good that is always happening to us, we re-connect with the higher stream of consciousness and the challenges are lifted to a higher vibration so we can see them differently. There is far more well being in our lives then there is distress. Appreciate all of the good and watch how everything else responds to your higher vibration. Our job is to stay open and allow the abundance of all good, that is awaiting our acceptance to flow effortlessly.

Affirmation;

I am an open channel for good to flow.

Resistance in the form of fear or anger keeps us connected to the problem We cannot solve the problem at the level of the problem. Surrender brings us into alignment with solutions. Surrender means “to melt into that which is bigger than us”. When faced with an unwanted situation, immediately stop the negative thoughts, breath, turn within and begin to chant: “ALL IS WELL, ALL IS WELL” until you feel relaxed and beyond resistance. You may have to stop several times during the day and repeat this chant but it will help you to relax and build the faith that all really is well.

Remember there are no accidents or mistakes. Everything happens for a reason. We don’t necessarily need to figure out the reason why, we only need to know that there is a gift waiting our surrender, our release of fear and our faith. Let your prayer be.”SHOW ME, GUIDE ME, I AM AN OPEN CHANNEL FOR HEALING”!

Affirmation

I am a powerful expression of God consciousness. Today I release all resistance and allow my good to come to me.

Some see it as negative energy bringing disasters. Others view 2012 as the year of awakening bringing a higher consciousness to the world.

How do you see it??????

Whatever you expect 2012 to be is what you will experience. We do get out expectations whether we want them or not.

We are at choice. Life is not predestined by ancient predictions AND every prediction is interpreted based on HOW you see life!

We can allow the energy of 2012 to lift us into a NEW & HIGHER VISION for our life. That choice is up to us every day as we decide how that day will unfold.

CHOOSE WISELY; YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!!!

If you think this is too simplistic to work, I challenge to give it a try. If it doesn’t work for you, you get to be right but if it lifts your life to a greater sense of joy, then you are changed forever. Not a bad way to start out the new year!!!

Affirmation: I am the expression of the living God. My life is filled with love, joy and peace.

Traditionally, we are celebrating the birth of the Christ light, the awakening of the light within each of us. Over time, we may have allowed our light within to dim because of disappointment or loss but at anytime we can recognize our inherent nature and allow the light that is us, has always been us to shine once again in all of its brilliance.

That light is your connection to source, to God or whatever you call your connection to the creative life force from which we all have come. Make this Holiday Season of 2011 be the brightest one ever for you. Be the light of love for yourself, your family, your friends and the world

Affirmation: I let my light shine!

After quieting my mind, I like to script my day. I think of appointments I have and see them completed successfully, set intentions for my “to do” list for that day and declare that all of my interactions with other be open, clear, loving and productive. When I take the time to script my day, I find that my days flow effortlessly and joyously.

Affirmation for today:

Today, my life flows smoothly, effortlessly and joyously.